have you been, my darling young son;
where have you been, my dear?"
"Oh mother, dear mother, don't fret over me,
I've only just been to the fair."
"Oh, what did you do when you went to the fair?
Who did you meet there, my lad?
Please tell me true what happened to you:
what is it that makes you so sad?"
"Oh, mother, dear mother, don't fret over me,
I'm fine, I tell you, I swear;
I was all alone, and I lost my way home,
and I shake from the cold night air."
"Where were your friends when you went to the fair,
did they not help you, my boy?
When you went out I heard a glad shout,
they seemed to greet you with joy."
"My friends, they all left me behind, mother dear,
I begged them not to go in;
but they followed some girls who let down their curls,
and you've told me that was a sin."
"I'm proud of you lad, but why then so sad?
You've done the courageous thing.
You followed my rules, and turned down those fools,
which is just what your false friends have been."
"I met with some boys that go to my school -
they wanted to ply me with drink.
They had bottles galore, but I knew well that score,
I'm grateful you've taught me to think."
"Oh, son, how profound your thinking has been!
I tell you, my heart's all aglow.
Yet it still seems to me that, rather than glee,
your mood is curiously low."
"I saw a man there with bright orange hair;
he wanted to teach me the dice.
But the coins that he craved I knew I must save,
for I planned you to have something nice."
"Oh Jack, you dear boy, I knew I could trust
your sensible mind to do right.
What then did you choose, rather than lose
the money I gave you last night?"
"Oh mother, dear mother, I fell prey to thieves,
who followed and trapped me so tight.
When I figured their drift, I swallowed your gift,
in order to hide it from sight."
"And what was my gift? Does it reside still
in stomach or large intestine?
Please don't continue to hide what you once had inside:
Oh, what is this gift that is mine?"
Oh mother, dear mother, it's Five Magic Beans
I gave all of your money to gain.
But I'm full of them still, it's making me ill,
and I dread that their passage will pain."
"Now lad, it is clear, you need have no fear,
we'll get them out ere they can sprout.
You can lessen your toil with this spoonful of oil.
When you've got all five through, just shout out."
"Oh, mother, dear mother, it's increasingly strange,
there's turmoil and twisting again.
It may be too late to pass what I ate,
I do fear they are growing within!"
"Oh Jack, my dear Jack, I hope you can trust
your mother's concern for your plight.
Do as I direct, let your mother inspect
to see if anything's coming to light."
"Oh please, mother dear, let no one come near
while you examine that source.
Please tell me true, whatever you view,
and whether it gets any worse."
"Oh Jack, have no fear, for you are my dear,
but I see signs of green down below;
I spy a broad shoot, and a part of a root:
Those beans have started to grow!"
"Oh please, mother dear, what shall I do?
I feared it would be just too late.
I'm going to be sick, don't you know any trick?
I've never desired this fate."
"Don't worry my son, my task is not done,
I've plenty of remedies here.
Just sup down this potion, my special soap lotion,
the taste is no different from beer."
"Oh thank you, dear mother, you are my best friend,
I've delivered your present so fast!
You've saved me from bloats known only to goats,
and now it is over at last!"
"Rejoice my dear son, the beanstalk still lives;
let's bury it out by the sty.
We've conquered your foe, now just let it grow -
who cares if it reaches the sky!"